Wednesday, September 20, 2006

It's over

I ended things with the new man this morning. It was not working out and I was growing increasingly restless and snappy with him. Anything he said or did made me ugly...couple that with the fact that he sucked in bed and ..voila...we have a break-up.

I broke it off in a voicemail...was that wrong? "I need space" was the phrase of choice, and we all know what that means.

Life is not treating me kindly at the moment...or I should say I'm not treating me kindly...way to much abuse of the body with food, alcohol, and illegal substances. Time to get my shit back together. I'll never get laid again if I don't lose weight.

At least my fuck buddies love me the way I am...thank god!

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

God Damn Lust, Loneliness and Gas

Why is lust so intense? It completely blinds you to traits in men that will drive you insane and make your head explode... two to three months after you've been dating. My head is about to explode.

He is a total hick...I tried to convince my self that he wasn't. I ignored the goofy ears, funny gait, and THICK western hick accent. I told myself that his obsession with the Red Sox was endearing...just like in the movie, Fever Pitch. The difference being that in the movie the guy is cute, witty and totally charming, and in real life they seldom are.

I don't know if I can have another conversation about "Big Papi" like he is a member of the family...who gives a flying fuck...really. Ok...if we don't talk Red Sox, we talk chainsaws...and lawn trimmers...and leaf blowers...are you feeling my pain?

Did mention Nascar? He is a card carrying, Walmart shopping, Jeff Gordon T-shirt wearing, friend of Nascar...another "who gives a flying fuck"...yes Kasey Kahne is a total babe and I could rock his world...but the mentality of the typical Nascar fan completely mystifies me.

And by the way...you know what else sucks for women? The inability to fart in bed. Chicks have an anus for decorative purposes, designed for his visual pleasure only, and not considered to be functionally operative. I need to fart. I'm 43 and the gas only gets worse with age...truly...a very painful situation in a new relationship. UGHHHH!

But...and there is ALWAYS a but...he is very eager in the oral department and patiently learning his way around my pussy. He gets bonus points for great orgasms.

My gut is telling me I'm going to have to end it...I need to be intellectually stimulated to survive in a relationship, or I have to be so completly hot for his cock that I can ignore the rest...remember Pete?

Did I mention my 24 year old "friend" is coming back soon...he's a baby but we've know each other well and I can't wait to lay my lips on him again.

Hey...he's got a Nascar Race to go to and I have to stay busy..right?

I also need to pass gas.

Monday, August 28, 2006

My son joined the Marines

What the fuck am I supposed to do about this???? There's nothing I can do...he made up his mind. Knowing that I'm totally against this war...he could be killed...we lost 8 service people on Sunday....CAN SOMEONE SAY STOP THIS WAR?????

It is always ok to go to war when your children don't have to fight it...everyone want to "support the troops" as long as it's not your kid .

George W. Bush is a fucking idiot...does anyone else see that???????????????????????

Saturday, August 26, 2006

The problem with a traveling boyfriend

I finally have a real boyfriend...but I never get to see him! He's on the road M-F and gone 4 nights...this wouldn't be an issue except for the fact of his 16 year old daughter...he needs to spend time with her as well and he's been a little neglecting. She's an awesome girl, just graduated high school, going to college early and very mature. What everyone seems to forget is that although she seems mature...she's still only 16!!!!! I think she's very overwhelmed with everything and last night I was proved right. She was picked up for shoplifting. Mike was devastated. What would make a smart, mature, levelheaded kid shoplift? It's a fucking cry for help...duhhhhh! Dude, you need to spend more time with you kid, which unfortunately leaves me out in the cold! Oh well...the upside is that they eventually grow up.

The diet is going well...7.2 lbs down as of this morning. Yeah!!!

The sex is ok...he likes to eat pussy, which is a bonus for me....I just need to lay of the vibrator during the week because it makes it very difficult to orgasm with my new boyfriend....we'll see how that goes this week!

Hope everyone is having a great weekend

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Dieting and your job

Dieting on the job sucks! Particularly if you're an on the road sales person...I've gained 10lbs in the past 2 months...I've got to stop eating at Ruby Tuesday's, not matter how cute the bartender is! ( And she's a chick)

I've been thinking my job really sucks lately...I work for an oil company and I sell liquid product...EVERYONE HATES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dude...I have no control over the prices....I can say that I'm confident they'll go over $3.00 a gallon. But you just don't know...Anyway back to eating...I eat out every day and I'm quickly packing on the pounds...I need to stop the madness....more on this Monday.

My boyfriend is coming home tomorrow so I'll be tied up all weekend...no blogging...and I don't blog from work anymore, we all know where that got me! I will say that my sex drive has not diminished and any of my faithful readers (if anyone is left) know that very interesting details are going to follow!!!

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Hello again!

I don't know if anyone is still checking here but I'm back! I'm actually in a relationship with a single guy who is in love with me so I though it would be good time to blog again and chronicle this miracle :)

Of course anyone who has read my blogs in the past knows that I can never be happy for long. I will find a way to fuck up a good thing eventually..it's inevitable. I will become bored, restless, horny and do something stupid. Just wait.

Right now my dilemma is my new sweethearts obsession with the Red Sox. Seriously, it is right out of the movie Fever Pitch. We hadn't seen each other in 5 days (he travels during the week for work, just like the much hated Pete), we fucked immediately when he came home and then the Red Sox came on...attention over! We went to dinner with my friends and he was glued to the TV, we went to see a great band and he was glued to the TV, we came home, I got naked and laid in the bed next to him....and he was glued to the TV....I hate baseball.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Depressed

I have seven days to get out of my house and I'm completely frozen...haven't packed a thing for days, got drunk three days in a row, sleeping til noon. i think I might be depressed....duh, YA THINK?????? Calling the doctor tommorow to get something to take the edge off for the next week. In 7 days I have to

1. pack and move
2. get my youngest graduated (Friday)
3. have my oldest cat put to sleep
4. Find home for my yongest cat
5. Rent storage unit


WAAAAYYYYYYY too much on my plate.